Sometimes I feel like a camel! There are a lot of responsibilities and burdens that I carry. Sometimes, I pride myself on carrying all of those. (We all know pride comes before a fall, or a broken camel’s back!)
I have always considered my self the 911 department. Whatever ship was going down or crew mate was bailing, I could step in and keep everything afloat. Truthfully, I enjoyed being the person people could depend on for that. The problem is, I would take nothing off of my back during those times. So, I looked like a camel loaded down with everything! I felt that way too, I would get so stressed out and always feel like I was on the verge of breaking and loosing control of everything I was carrying. It was a constant feeling of wanting to do more, but failing. I struggle with thinking that I must prove myself because my worth is in what I do. People will accidentally feed this lie in my heart as well. Culture certainly tells us this lie. The problem is I will never prove my worth by doing, it will never be enough. Simply because, my true worth is found in being a daughter of Christ!!
So, what is a camel with a broken back to do?? Realize she has limitations!! That is a really hard thing for me to say! I want to help, I want to do as much as possible for those I love. I want to carry their burdens and work load, but I have to admit when I can not. I don’t like that, it hurts my pride and I don’t want them to think I don’t want to help. It is not that I am not capable, but it is that I can’t do everything well!
Instead of trying to do more in 2014, I am going to try and “be” more. That way when I find myself carrying an extra straw in will not be the one that breaks me.
Philippians 1:9-10 NLT
“9 I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. 10 For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.”
I want to be more loving, understanding and have more knowledge!! I want to work on what really matters!!!